In which I attempt to bribe you

Okay blog followers, stick with me while I tell you about yet another cause. (This one involves bribery though, so keep reading.)

Leslie is one of my dearest and oldest friends. She is like the perkier, prettier version of me, but with all sorts of graphic designing talent. Plus she is always, always cheerfully helping other people. Really, if I used her as a character in one of my books, readers would think she was unrealistically charitable and they would leave snarky comments on Goodreads saying that people like Leslie don't exist in real life.

Leslie donates her graphic design skills to help nonprofit groups even though she herself has struggled financially all her life. Now she's entered a contest that can give her seed money to start her own business, but she needs people to vote for her dream. (The top ten people will be interviewed by American Family.)

It will take you two minutes or less to register to vote (link below) and then a few seconds to scroll through the top dreams and vote for hers.

Here's where the bribe comes in. If you register and vote for Leslie, (Leave me a comment telling me you did.) I'll send you a free ebook. (Blue Eyes and Other Teenage Hazards or Playing the Field--although if you live near me or will see me at a conference soon, I have a variety of paperbacks you can choose from too.) If you also vote for Leslie for the next four days (You can vote once ever 24 hours--and once you're registered, it only takes a few seconds each day.) I'll promise to send you my next ebook free too. (It will be a rewrite of either Masquerade or Dakota's Revenge, whichever I get to first.)

Here's the link to register: (Leslie's screen popped up when I did this.)

https://longlivedreams.com/?key=lesliesafe%40cox.net

Here's a video Leslie made for the contest that shows her picture

In Which Janette Wants to Save a Chateau

You might think this blog has nothing to do with literature, but trust me, you would be oh so wrong. Have you ever imagined walking through Pemberley or Tara, or any of those mansions that heroines frequently find themselves at? Have you ever played Clue and wondered if houses with conservatories and billiard rooms actually exist?

You want to visit Chateau de Vie. I'll show you a few pictures so you get the idea. A fairy tale theme runs through the mansion, which makes you feel like a princess.

This next picture is of the front stairs. It's got this beautiful mural that I'll show more pictures of at the end of this blog. (You know it's a piece of art when you need four pictures to show it.)

One of the lights

The place has indoor balconies. I totally want an indoor balcony now.

This is one of the dining rooms. My friends who bought the Chateau have been restoring the original paintings. Here you can see the one in this room is being worked on.

Before I post more pictures (Which don't show the really impressive details, by the way) I'll explain a bit about this historic Chandler landmark. (And why I want my blog followers to take one minute and email the Chandler city council.) When the Chateau was built decades ago, Chandler was a rural, sparsely populated place. Since then Chandler has grown up around the Chateau and now it finds itself directly off a major, busy road. Anyone who could afford this sort of mansion wouldn't choose to live so close to a major road. My friends bought the Chateau after it had been foreclosed. A lot of the landscaping had died and vandalism had happened. Because it's on ten acres and situated so close to a major road it's perfect for a wedding reception place. My friends have been working to turn it into one--which is great because then it would be open to the public and so many people could enjoy it.

A few neighbors don't want this to happen. They would rather see the Chateau torn down then to have it turned into a business. Which in my opinion would be destroying a work of art. They've been vocal to the city council, despite the fact that nobody lives close enough to be impacted by the zoning change. (I believe there is some sour grapes in all of this.)

Anyway, I'm urging folks to take a minute of their time and email the Chandler city council at Mayor&Council@ChandlerAZ.gov

Just put in put in your subject line Approve Chateau de Vie and then say that you're for saving the Chateau.

Many thanks from all the people who will be able to enjoy this beautiful building, and pretend they are strolling through some literary setting. Here's more pictures.

This is the billiard room

I totally wanted to find a candlestick and hit Colonel Mustard with it.

It seemed that every room had a fireplace and they had each been created by artisans from exotic countries, or possibly elves. I loved this one:

This library was two stories tall--absolutely huge. Look at those shelves. Seriously, when I walked in the room I wanted to cry out of pure envy. Finally a place I could fit all my books.

Another indoor balcony.

Okay, here are the murals on the front stairs.




Here is a secret passageway. How cool is that? Again, I want one.


And that isn't even all of the downstairs. Anyway, again, this place is a piece of art that should be enjoyed by many. The only way that will happen is if the city council approves of the zoning that will allow it to be used. If you're still reading and you haven't emailed the city council to tell them you support the Chateau, please do so: Mayor&Council@ChandlerAZ.gov

Why writers marry engineers

I've met lots of other writers over the years. I've found three things that many of us have in common.

1) We're daydreamers--otherwise known as having ADD. Hey, what's going on in our imaginations is way more interesting than what's going on in real life. Why should we pay attention to the real stuff? Or remember incidental things like the fact that we were supposed to pick up our kids from school fifteen minutes ago? In my mind, I have been happily living as a member of the Galactican fleet for years.

2) A background in drama. I'm not sure which produces the other. I do know that those drama classes ended up being some of the most helpful classes I took in high school. Drama makes you pay attention to dialogue and it also makes you dig deeply into your character looking for motivation. (Now every time I think about finding motivation, I remember the movie Galaxy Quest. If you haven't seen it, you should. One of my favorite movies, ever.)

3) A surprising amount of us are married to engineers. (Or that type. Adam Rex is married to an astrophysicist, if I'm remembering right.) I have no idea why this is. Opposites attract? Nature's way of protecting the artistic type? (Without my husband, I would probably forget to do things like pay taxes or put the garbage out on the street and would either be dragged off by the IRS or die of some garbage-related disease.) Or perhaps the spouses of engineers are just forced to find an artistic outlet? (A lot of my husband's work is classified so he can't talk about it. I don't mind.)

Whatever the reason, this Dilbert cartoon made me laugh. This is what would actually happen if I worked at my husband's company. Except it would probably also include a galactic space fleet.

Editing mistakes--or: Why, yes, my character does have super powers

Before I published my first book, my editor told me there would be mistakes in it. "No matter how hard we try," she said. "There's no such thing as a perfect book."

At the time I didn't realize how right she was. I get it now, though.

Go ahead, ask me about the hay-straw debacle. (Although I tried to change every reference to horses eating straw in My Unfair Godmother, one still slipped through.)

Or there was that time when my heroine's hands were tied, then untied, then magically retied.

Someone just emailed me and pointed out that I have a character pressing the gas pedal on his motorcycle in Slayers. Did you know that motorcycles don't have gas pedals? I clearly didn't.

A few years ago I got back the rights to my first book, Deep Blue Eyes and Other Lies. After I got over the horror of my bad writing (I wrote the thing 16 years ago. I've improved since then) I went through it, rewrote portions, and put it up as the ebook Blue Eyes and Other Teenage Hazards. I had it copy edited, but the problem was that I also made changes to the manuscript per the copy editor's suggestions.

I've sold something like 1600 copies in two months. I just reread it because I'm going to have it formatted for a paperback and I found all sorts of typos.

I also found a place where the characters refer to an event that hasn't happened yet. (Funny line, too bad it doesn't make sense to the readers.) I'm not sure whether I should be gratified or not that none of the 1600 people who bought the ebook have told me about this problem.

Maybe they just haven't gotten to the book yet. (Sort of like those three stacks of books that I've bought but haven't found time to read.)

So, for anyone who already bought Blue Eyes and Other Teenage Hazards--Why, yes, my characters are psychic. In fact, they put the chic in psychic.

And the fixed version should be up late tonight.

On the subject, Virginia Maughan Kammeyer wrote a poem about editorial errors :

WESTERN DAZE

Moving as rapidly as light
You type a novel in a night,
Then galloping at frantic pace
Over the hills your heroes race.

From cattle ranch, to gambling room,
To mesa bluff and back they zoom.
How can you, writing at such rate,
Keep places, plots, and people straight?

Your marshal, now—I fear that he
May someday meet catastrophe,
(A mix-up by some typing elf)
And handcuff, jail, then hang—himself.

So, so true

And the winners are . . .

Since I had so many comments, I chose two winners. (Random.org helped though. Random is an awesome guy that way.)

Tiana Smith

Liz

You know the drill. Send me your addresses and I'll try to get your books to the post office in the next few days.

For everybody else, don't worry. There are more give-aways on the horizon.

blog hop give-away

Inspired Kathy emailed me and asked if I wanted to be part of a blog hop. I said, "Sure," because a blog hop sounded like a sock hop and I thought it might involve dancing. Besides, who am I to argue with someone who's inspired?

It turns out there is no dancing in a blog hop, but if you feel inspired to dance, I won't stop you.

I realized upon reading Kathy's last email that this give-away is supposed to involve a paranormal romance. I just happen to have written a paranormal romance, but my editor is reading it right now, so it's not actually available in book form.

Therefore, I'm giving away a signed copy of My Fair Godmother. After all, it does reference Edward Cullen, and if you squint, fairies sort of look like vampires, all sparkly and whatnot.

So leaving a comment will get you one chance, and promising to put my books face out on the shelf the next time you are in a bookstore will give you two. (Yeah, that's the kind of followers I have, baby. Rebels to the core.)

Erasing Time--the cover is finally final.

Notice any differences? I didn't. (Which is why I'm lousy at all of those picture games where you're supposed to find six differences in what appear to be two identical pictures.) Anyway, I'm very happy with it. It's an awesome cover.

The book is coming out September 2012, and I'm writing the sequel right now. (Must figure out a way to put the cover on my sidebar and website . . .)

Which Cover Do You Like Best?

I put Playing the Field, one of my earlier books, up as an ebook last month. I needed a new cover and couldn't decide whether to use one that would appeal to boys--because the main character is guy, or one that would appeal to girls--because most of my readers are girls. And, after all, a lot of girls read books with guys as main characters.

Then fellow writer, Robin Brande, suggested I do two covers and see which sells best. Which was a great suggestion and would have been a very interesting cover experiment. The only problem is that Amazon (and I suppose other sites as well) don't let you put up two different covers for the same book.

So, I'm going to ask you all which you like best. Does the boy cover appeal to you even though it's clearly a boy cover, (The guy does have a sort of hot wrist, after all)or would you pass that one by and only buy the girl cover?

And, in case you really do feel like buying a good middle grade comedy, I've just lowered the price to .99 on Amazon and on Smashwords (which lowers it on B&N, right?)so you can also vote by buying one copy or the other.

Here's the link to the girl cover:
http://www.smashwords.com/books/view/108937

Here's the link to the guy cover:
http://www.amazon.com/Playing-The-Field-ebook/dp/B006HWV3KG/ref=sr_1_2?s=digital-text&ie=UTF8&qid=1326779906&sr=1-2

Creepiest kids' toys

Okay, on first glance, cute pink-haired Lalaloopsy doesn't seem creepy--that is unless you've read the book Coraline or seen the movie. Because the evil-scary-bad people have those exact same button eyes. Creepiest thing ever! (Shudders just thinking about it.) Don't put this doll on your bed. She may kill you sometime during the night. That's why she's smiling.

Some things shouldn't be combined. Dora and Pillow Pets are two of those things.

Dora looks like she has become some sort of mutant furry animal akin to that freaky dog in the original Body Snatchers movie. (But at least he doesn't have button eyes.)


I've always loved Barbie. Really. I have more Barbies than is probably healthy for a grown woman to own. (But that's a different blog.) So I was understandably disturbed to see decapitated Barbie heads in the toy aisle. My first thought was, "Well, it looks like Mattel has finally done a Marie Antoinette doll." Then I realized that no, Barbie now has a line where the heads are switchable. Remember how people used to worry that Barbie sent the wrong body image message to young girls? I'm glad they've straightened out that issue.


I'm a huge Star Wars fan. At one point I wanted to marry Luke Skywalker. (On some days I still do.) I hate to criticize anything Star Wars, but despite this deep seated love, I must point out that Yoda makes a really creepy child's toy.

Um, am I only the one who thinks that Yoda looks like he has emerged from a horror film and is trying to strangle this hapless child?


The catalog copy says Cuddle with you, I will! Judging from this picture, Yoda is also saying, "Hide under your bed, I will. Come out at night while you're sleeping, I will. Try to suck your brains out, I will."

No thanks, I'll pass on that Star Wars memorabilia.

If you haven't seen the movie Rango, this next picture is Ms. Beans, the love interest of Johnny Depp--er, I mean Rango. Johny Depp just does the voice for Rango. Anyway, she's supposed to be a Desert Iguana.

Personally, I think she would frighten most children and many adults. I mean, really, she is clearly just an alien wearing a wig.


So parents, if you are going to go to the trouble to buy your children a gift, don't buy them one that they will later need therapy for. Hey, I know what would be really great. How about a book? I know of many good ones, including this one:

It's available at all your fine bookstores (including the Portland airport--how awesome is that?) Here are links for your convenience. (Because I'm thoughtful that way.)

http://www.changinghands.com/book/9780312614140

http://www.barnesandnoble.com/s/cj-hill-slayers?keyword=cj+hill+slayers&store=allproducts

Or if you're looking for a kindle bargain try this book at 2.51

http://www.amazon.com/My-Fair-Godmother-ebook/dp/B00413PHVO/ref=sr_1_1?s=digital-text&ie=UTF8&qid=1326120589&sr=1-1

New Year's Writing Resolutions

It's that time when we all start thinking about New Year's resolutions. I've come up with ten writing goals. I might be able to keep nine of them.

1) Learn how to spell hors d'oeuvres so I don't have to google it every single time.

2) Use the word appetizers more instead of hors d'oeuvres.

3) Don't yell things at the computer such as, "Find that file or I'll show you what you can do with your gigabytes!" Or any other thing that would make the neighbors question my sanity.

4) Stop checking Amazon's rankings for my novels. Do I really want to know that353,194 books are selling better than mine today? No, I don't.

5) Stop noticing Amazon's rankings for other books. Do I really want to know that Snookie's book is number 11 in biographies? Again, no, I don't.

6) Learn what all those acronyms mean so I can understand my fan emails.

7) Don't send critiques to authors who have asked me for blurbs. (Yes, I have done this, and yes, I do feel bad about it. But in my defense, I was trying to help the authors improve their books.)

8) Don't see how many sunflower seeds the hamster can fit in its mouth while I'm supposed to be writing.

9) Don't see how many Almond Joys I can fit in my mouth while I'm supposed to be writing.

10) Finish my middle-grade fantasy, sell my paranormal romance, write sequels to Slayers, Erasing Time, and the next Fairy Godmother book--and do all the revisions said books require.

Sigh. Can you guess which goal I'll have the most trouble with?

Worst Christmas Gifts You Can Give

I wish I could say that I had to look long and hard to find these horrible gifts, but no. I'm apparently on the catalog list for crazy people, and I get dozens of Gifts-for-the-Bizarre magazines. Without further ado (because there is enough doo-doo in this list) here are some gifts that will win you no brownie points with your friends and relatives.

What could be more tacky than dog poop on your lawn?
A sign with a dog pooping that you put in your lawn. I'm sure this is a lovely sight to see each morning. I bet the Home Owners Association will have nothing to say about it.

And speaking of poop (because what says the holidays better than poop?) here's a charming gift for that special someone in the office.
It poops paperclips, combining all that is sophomoric and unprofessional in one convenient desk item.

Looking for nostalgia? How about a gift that will remind you of those childhood days where you trapped unsuspecting bugs in an old jar and most likely left them to die on your dresser. Yep, just let these little babies blink on and off in their pathetic attempts to gain freedom. Plus, your loved ones will know that you spent actual money on this gift--which is worth approximately an old jar and some bugs.


This Granny sling shot would be a great gift for, um, uh, Grandpa, after Grandma runs off with Enrique, the poolboy.


How about a matching set of hats that look like sharks are eating your head? Junior will need therapy after this gift. For many reasons.

A lot of the items we sell here in America have the made in China label stamped on them. I often wonder what the factory workers in China think of the items they assemble.

"What are we working on today, Shang?"

Shang picks up a glowing solar frog and shrugs. "Maybe it is to warn against nuclear fall-out."


And lastly, what is a better way to impress upon friends and loved ones that you are totally not a psychopathic serial killer--than to hang a human brain ornament on your Christmas tree? Don't ask what happened to Dinky, Santa's missing elf.


If you want a good gift instead--try a book. In fact try one of mine. They're all good. And, as a special Christmas offer, my ebook Blue Eyes and Other Teenage Hazards will be available on Amazon for .99. This price will only last for a couple of weeks. (Or longer if I forget to change it back.)

http://www.amazon.com/Blue-Other-Teenage-Hazards-ebook/dp/B006HN8MSG/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1324364968&sr=8-1


Merry Christmas everyone!

How authors party

One of the fun things about being an author is getting to hang out with other authors and cool book people. Last week eight Arizona authors put on an author appreciation open house--which sounds like we were appreciating ourselves, but really we were appreciating all of the many awesome teachers, librarians, and booksellers who do so much for reading. We lured them to Lisa McMann's house with promises of books and free food.

Here's another cool thing about being an author. You can have a blow-up of Captain Underpants sitting on your table and nobody thinks it's strange.

Here is a picture of James Owen and the chalk masterpiece he whipped up for the evening. Seriously, it only took him a few minutes to draw these dragons. Which seriously baffles my not-able-to-draw mind.

Many thanks to Janni Lee Simner, Amy Dominy, Aprilynne Pike, Lisa McMann, Bill Konigsberg, Tom Leveen, and James Owen for a great time!

And the winner is Jen

I'm letting Jadean know. You can contact me with your email address and I'll pass it along to him. jrallisonfans at yahoo dot com

eBook give-away and interview with a writer's husband

I met Danyelle Leafty at a writer's conference a couple years ago. A few days ago her husband emailed me and asked if I would like to interview her on my blog. I have to say I was impressed her husband was actively promoting her. If I had known I was going to be an author, I would have questioned all my boyfriends about their willingness to set up interviews for me. Alas, I didn't have the foresight to ask that important question.

Anyway, I decided to do something different for this interview. You’ve all read lots of interviews with authors. By this point you know about our creative quirks, our into-the-night writing sessions, our despair at rejection letters, and you know about those times we forgot to pick up our children from (fill in the blank) _________ because we lost track of time while writing that awesome love scene. But have you ever heard an interview from an author’s husband--from those poor folk that have to deal with us? Neither have I, so this interview should be interesting.

Without further ado, here is Jadean Leafty, husband of Danyelle Leafty, author of The Fairy Godmother Dilemma: Catspell. We’ll be giving away one of her ebooks to a lucky commenter on the blog.

When did you realize Danyelle was a writer, and by then was it too late to do anything about it?

I am told that I should've realized it a lot sooner than I did. I have a bad memory. I first realized that she was a writer when I went off gallivanting with a bunch of freshly graduated high school kids in Texas. Which is also when I was being yelled at by men in uniform to whom I was their senior in age by quite a few years. Pretty much while I was away at basic training. I knew it was serious though when I was deployed to Afghanistan. Of course by then it was too late, but I wouldn't trade her.

I once spent ten days dragging my husband around England to research castles for a novel that I still haven’t written. Has Danyelle ever dragged you into her research, and if so what did you have to do?

If by research, you mean the book store. YES. She doesn't have to really drag us anymore. Our six year old gets put out when we don't take the turns that would end us up at Barnes and Noble.

When I was writing romances, my husband once accused me of fantasizing about other men.
“Yeah,” I said, “but I’m getting paid to do it.” Then for my next romance I put my husband in the book as the hero. (What the Doctor Ordered) Which would have been a really sweet gesture if I hadn’t fired him from my romance four days later. My husband is too easy-going and he just wouldn’t argue and banter with the heroine. (Who incidentally was me. I did not fire myself from the novel as I am quite good at arguing and bantering.) Have you shown up in any of Danyelle’s books?


Bits and pieces of me do. The whole me has been in each of her dedications thus far. Usually some aspects of me are found in her prince charmings. I'm still trying to devour Catspell. But I have to fight the children for it. So reluctantly, I sneak chapters in while at church.

I am pretty sure that classifies as a sin--or true devotion to your wife. Either way, you are clearly a supportive husband. Do you read your wife’s drafts and offer suggestions?

Of course, time permitting. I have a keen eye for line editing. Heck, I even find mistakes in her "research" books.

Does she take kindly to your comments?

If they are valid, yes. She's always right.

Any last advice for wives who are authors?

Love the author. And even though she calls you biased don't believe it, her books are the BEST!

Those are words every author's husband should learn. Remember to leave a comment for a chance to win. To find out more about Danyelle you can go to her website at: http://www.danyelleleafty.com/

Your questions answered, plus a really cute dog

Want to win a copy of Slayers? Free Book Friday is giving away three copies.
http://teens.freebookfriday.com/

Saphira vs Tamerlane

Every once in awhile someone asks me why I made the dragons in Slayers vicious animals instead of magical best friends. It’s not that I don’t like the friendly, loyal dragons from Eragon. If I was allowed to have one mythical character as a sidekick, it would be a dragon. Sure, Pegasus would be easier to ride, and all of those cute Disney animal sidekicks could belt out cheerful tunes when the moment called for it, but who would you want on your side in a fight? Right, the dragon.

So I totally get authors who write about good, helpful, dragons. But I have seen what dragons look like. (Okay, not really. This isn’t one of those alien abduction stories—although, come to think of it, that is exactly what all of those alien abduction stories need to spiff them up: a dragon or two.) What I mean is, I’ve seen drawings, paintings, statues, and coat-of-arms depicting dragons. This is generally what they look like:


Or:


Now I ask you, do either of these dragons look like they want to be your friend? No, they don’t. They look like they eat large animals. And probably the kind of animals they like best are the slow ones that God didn’t see fit to provide with horns or claws or anything that would prevent them from being easily gobbled up. Which means you.

This is probably a test that they should administer in schools to emphasize this point:

Which of the following animals would make a good pet?

Okay, you get my point. You wouldn't want to cuddle with my dragons.

The bug-dragon connection--at least in my mind

Most story ideas don’t come to me whole and complete but are cobbled together from several incidents and thoughts. Slayers is that way. The first incident happened when I was fifth grade and had just moved to Silver Springs, Maryland. All the adults there were quite excited because this was the year that the cicadas would emerge from the ground after remaining dormant and hidden for 17 years. The next door neighbor happily explained to me that this was the cicadas’ way of avoiding predators. Since they only emerged every 17 years, predators couldn’t depend on them as a food source.

A brilliant adaptation, I might add, for an insect that isn’t smart enough to avoid accidentally flying into your hair.

I remember finding a lot of hollow cicada skins that summer, because cicada’s also shed their skin. Ahh, there’s nothing nicer to find hanging from your bedroom windowsill than a creepy, hollow bug skin.

But anyway, the point to all of this was that as a child I immediately picked up on what the adults seemed to have missed in the cicadas’ amazing return from the underworld. If bugs could (sort of) hibernate for nearly two decades in order to give themselves a natural advantage, why couldn’t other species do it too? Maybe there were animals with such long life cycles we just hadn’t caught them emerging yet.

I grew up on Godzilla movies and so had a strong and deep rooted fear that dinosaurs might one day show up and start smacking buildings around and eating screaming Japanese people—or worse yet: eat me.

No one knew what had caused the extinction of the dinosaurs and I was surprised that no one had come up with my theory. They weren’t really gone. They were just hibernating. Waiting until there were lots of yummy fifth grade girls around to chomp on. And there were probably some eggs buried under my house!!

The nice thing about childhood fears is that you can use them later in your novels. Nothing is ever wasted when you’re a writer.
The next piece that added to the Slayers plot was my own clumsiness. I will sometimes wake up in the morning and notice bruises or scratches and I have no idea how or when I got them. My husband is understandably amazed by this phenomena. He’ll say things like, “How can you not realize it when you hurt yourself? Were you with your body all day yesterday?”
Apparently not. Writers are like that sometimes.
I got tired of my husband’s comments so I started telling him, “While you sleep at night, I secretly go out and fight dragons.”

And then because I have a writer’s brain I wondered what it would be like to fight dragons. Viola, the beginning of a plot.