Saturday, October 15, 2011

Oh Rats . . . literally

Sometimes fans give me things. I'm always appreciative. I have a really cool apron, a framed picture of a stone angel, and a Barbie doll made to look like Chrissy that reader friends have given me. This is a perk I never expected when I first started writing, and I always find a special place in the house for such gifts. But lately I got a gift that I'm not sure where to put.

Let me explain. It started with an email conversation my writing friend, Angela Fox, and I were having. She said, "I don't give a rat's tush* what So-N-So** thinks."

(*Not the real word she used)
(**Not the real name she used.)

I wrote back to her, "Well, it's a good thing you don't give a rat's tush what So-N-So thinks, because I clearly remember you promising me all of your rats' tushes."

Sometimes I am witty in my emails like that.

But Angela is always wittier, because at the book launch she showed up and gave me plastic rats all through the event. Some of them were as big as chihuahuas and had scary red eyes. I laughed a lot. People probably thought Angela and I were a little strange, which strictly speaking is true.

I brought the rats home and tried to find a place for them. I must admit I'm having trouble finding the right spot. At first I tried one of the doll cases. (I have three.)

It didn't seem to be a good match. So then I tried the coffee table.

But I thought visitors might not appreciate the rat motif. So then I tried upstairs by the reading angel which sits next to one of the bookcases. (I have eight--but that's not a sign of hoarding because I'm a writer.)

Here you can see some of the smaller rats. They're gray. Knowing that this surface is frequently engulfed in clutter (which is normal because I have five children, and so is not a sign of hoarding tendencies either) I decided to try the rats in my room.
Here they are on my dresser.

As you can see, they didn't work here either. My dolls look distinctly creeped out by the rats. (And yes, even though I have three doll cases, I still can't fit all my dolls into them, which actually may be a symptom of hoarding, but we aren't going to talk about that.)
So, while I try to find a place for the rats, my friendly little dog is doing everything she can to welcome the new editions.


Janet Johnson said...

That is hilarious! Those poor rats. They just don't seem to fit in anywhere.

Janice Sperry said...

pass them out on Halloween.

i'm erin. said...

ha ha! I love your rats. That's hilarious. they look great with the dolls. p.s. I have something ready for you. email me your address.

CJ Hill said...

Thus the sad life of a rat. Had they been hamsters, I would have turned them into pets and fed them treats.

Anna Maria Junus said...

Your rats are truly creepy. I hate rats. I say wrap them up and send them back to your friend. Maybe it can be a game. You have to come up with creative ways to pass the rats back and forth.

I'm a doll collector too.

And thanks for the book Just One Wish. I'm looking forward to reading it.

Anonymous said...

I'm with Anna - box them up and send them with a card! Say something like "I do give a rat's bum - and here it is!"

hahahahahahaaa. Ew

Lolawid said...

Awwww, so disturbing!! Especially the pictures of the rats with your dolls and your dog. What great Halloween decorations, though!!!

NeverGrowUp said...

Hehehe! I love it! You're so funny! :)

Jessie Clark said...

I'm creeped out just looking at them. Please don't leave them on the table. I walked into the convenience store yesterday and they had one in the refrigerator with the 20 oz. sodas. I was not thirsty after that. Good luck with your new vermin :)

Shay, Chelsea and Jonas Allen said...

I think in your dog's mouth is the PERFECT spot for these fabulous additions.

Cass said...

Hi! I'm just one of your random fans, so you don't know me, but I just thought I'd let you know how much I love your books. You are one of my favorite authors :)