Job satisfaction

I’m the first to admit that being an author has its downsides. It’s a hard field to break into, it often doesn’t pay as well as . . . say, a pizza delivery job, and if you’re lucky and do get a book deal, you have to live through revision letters. Trust me, they aren’t pretty. I hold many angry conversations with my editor about his revision letters. Some conversations he actually gets to hear. My husband generally hears the rest.

But every once in awhile something comes along that makes me say: I’m so glad I have this job. This time it was a paragraph I read about why mosquitoes are attracted to certain people. (I just figured mosquitoes were like men and had peculiar tastes, but apparently there is a real scientific reason.)

Here is the paragraph:

The researchers separated human volunteers into two groups—those who were attractive to mosquitoes and those who weren't. They then put each of the volunteers into body-size foil bags for two hours to collect their body odors. Using a machine known as a chromatograph, the scientists were able to separate the chemicals. They then tested each of them to see how the mosquitoes responded. By attaching microelectrodes to the insects' antennae, the researchers could measure the electrical impulses that are generated when mosquitoes recognize a chemical.

Note to guys who want to pick up women. These job titles will not impress us:

1) Test subject to see if mosquitoes prefer your blood.
2) Person collecting body odors of test subjects
3) Researcher who attaches microelectrodes onto mosquitoes' antennae

Yep, I love my job

The Problem With Wikipedia

Once while I was talking about researching stuff for my novels, I told one of my author friends, Jon Lewis, that my editor made me find a native Italian speaker to look over the Italian phrases I put in How To Take The Ex Out Of Ex-boyfriend. Jon laughed a lot about that. He said one day he was going to write a book on research called: Wikipedia, It's Close Enough to the Truth
For Me.

And granted, he may have a point. You can find anything on Wikipedia. I had to learn some stuff about martial arts and--bam--Wikipedia has the history of, origins of and names of dozens of different types.

I was marveling about this to middle daughter. "I don't know who spends the time to write all of this stuff," I said. "I haven't even bothered to write the page about me."

"There's a page about you?" she asked.

"Yep," I said. "I have no idea who wrote it, but it lists all of my books." To prove the point I typed my name into the search engine. It gave the basic boring information about me and then said, She lives with her husband and five children one of which is named Gaston. In "Just one wish" it is comically and truthfully stated that Gaston is believed to be the coolest.

Hmm, apparently Gaston's friends know how to edit Wikipedia and are adding their own opinions.

See, that's the problem with Wikipedia.

Where Children's Book Authors Work

Not long ago I saw a blog that featured where fantasy writers write. Not to be outdone, I decided I should do a blog about where children's book authors write. As you can see, I frequently work with children draped around my neck. It helps with the dialogue and all that.


Shannon Hale (Princess Academy) employs the same technique. When people ask her how she manages to write with children, she says she doesn't--children are too unwieldy. She writes with a computer. Although here you can see she is clearly trying to print block letters using her baby's footprints. I love the laundry in the background. You are my hero, Shannon!


Next we have James Dashner's (The Maze Runner--which everybody loves and which I still do not have an ARC of--not that I'm hinting or anything) work space. He isn't around because he is obviously out on tour, rubbing shoulders with celebrities. What do you suppose he keeps in that backpack and why does he only have half a lamp?


This is Aprilynne Pike's (Wings) workspace--she is absent too, probably out on tour with James having mocktails with JK Rowling or something. Love the wooden floor! A lot of my house is done in tile that we picked because it matched the color of dirt. But that's just my family.


Here is James Owen's (Here, There Be Dragons) workspace. Although you can't see it very well, he is holding a sword. Personally, I think all authors should be issued swords. It would help out when dealing with editors. (Just kidding, Tim!) His wall is the coolest!


This is the lovely Lisa McMann, author of Wake. I love the fact that she has cover art from her books framed. How very authorish. I should do that. Except for then I'd have to find a place for the 300 pictures of my kids that cover the walls of my house.


Next we have P.J. Haarssma's (The Softwire ) workspace. He wins the prize for most computers. (Okay, there wasn't a contest, but there should have been.) I love the fact that he has the galaxy nearby for inspiration. Since I write teen romances perhaps I should put up a picture of Robert Pattinson or something.


Chris Gall (Dinotrux) claims that this is where he writes. I don't believe him though. I'm sure he writes down all of his award winning ideas on napkins and then sends them to his editor. Truly great minds work that way.


This is Chris Crowe (Mississippi Trial, 1955) proving that he is Super Dad. I mean, that's real dedication. Bonus points to anyone who can recognize what sort of computer he's working on.


Here is Sydney Salter Husseman.(My Big Nose And Other Natural Disasters) You can tell she's a writer because her bookcase is big enough that it would kill someone if it toppled over. I have several like this at my house.


And here's another one of my author friends, Janni Simner. (Bones of Faerie--which I always end up spelling wrong because I can never remember the cool way to spell Faerie. If you pick up my book, My Fair Godmother, you might surmise that I don't know how to spell the uncool way either.) If you look closely on Janni's wall you'll see she has a certificate that proclaims she is a "Real Writer". I'm still waiting for my certificate to show up.


This lovely woman is Dotti Enderle. (Man in the Moon) You die-hard Rallison fans will realize right off that I named the hairdresser in Revenge of the Cheerleaders after Dotti. Is that a Ben and Jerry's ice cream carton on the top of her desk? If it's not, it should be. That's the sort of thing muses like to eat. I generally leave out some Almond Joys for mine.


Next we have Melissa Walker (Violet on the Runway)who is obviously trying to promote the idea that you can write in style and comfort. How cool is that chair? I want to write in that chair!



And last but not least is Heather Tomlinson (The Swan Maiden) whose cats like to help her write. I have one that does the same thing. Sometimes it's dang hard to get to the keyboard without getting cat fur in my mouth.


Note to my author friends: If you sent me a picture and I didn't put it here, drop me an email as your picture is probably lost somewhere in my computer files.

Author/Agent panel.

Okay, I know for a lot of you, the word: Agent caught your attention much more than the word: Author.

Don't worry, I'm used to it.

Anyway, on Monday, August 24th my agent, the very nice Erin Murphy, will appear with me and other cool authors at 7:00 at Changing Hands Bookstore in Tempe, Arizona. She will answer all of your questions about the literary world and probably tell some personal tales about me and how I hoisted a stray cat on her. Which is a true story by the way, and the reason other agents are afraid to talk to me in public places.

Here are the details:

Time: Monday, August 24, 2009 7:00 p.m.
Location: Changing Hands Bookstore
HOW TO WRITE & ILLUSTRATE A KIDS’ BOOK

Explore the writing, marketing, and publishing process involved in creating first-rate children’s literature with authors J. S. Lewis (The Fall of the Templar), Janette Rallison (Just One Wish), author-illustrator Chris Gall (Dinotrux) and illustrator Amanda Shepherd (Such A Silly Baby!). Joining them is literary agent Erin Murphy, who is not taking unsolicited work but will answer questions.

Changing Hands
6428 S McClintock Dr
Tempe, AZ 85283
480-730-0205
McClintock at Guadalupe

Just One Wish give-away

I just realized that I never did a give-away for Just One Wish that came out in March. Or if I did do one, I've forgotten, and I'm too lazy to look back in my blog and check.

In the book, seventeen year-old Annika wants to find her little brother's idol--the actor who plays Teen Robin Hood--and convince him to visit her brother before her brother goes in for surgery.

My question for you is: If you were going in for a risky surgery and could have any person alive come and visit you beforehand, who would you choose?

Here is a picture of me holding your lovely gift should you win this contest.



But wait, there's more! One of my writer friends said she always gives away a tie-in from her book, so I thought about objects used in this book (snakes, Winnebagos, stolen shorts, hair nets) and I decided to give away some stolen shorts!

Okay, just kidding. I am not about to steal anybody's shorts. Instead I'm including a lovely set of four hair nets. There used to be five but I took one out to model it for you. Then I decided I looked hideous in hair a hair net and did I really want that picture floating around the Internet forever? So here is one of my youngest fans modeling it for you:


So go ahead and leave a comment. Just One Wish is funny, romantic, thought provoking,and completely fat free!

Shakira was right, the hips don’t lie.

And unfortunately lately they’ve been telling me that they don’t fit into my jeans anymore. Probably because I’ve had an indulgent summer with conferences and retreats where chocolate always floated around within arm’s reach.

So last week I decided to turn over a new leaf. (A lettuce leaf, if you want to be exact.) I and my family were going to eat more vegetables. Along with the other groceries, last Saturday I bought a squash, two heads of celery, two heads of lettuce, two heads of cauliflower, asparagus, cabbage, and tomatoes.

I am all about good intentions.

By the end of the week we’d managed to eat the squash and some of the lettuce and tomatoes. But I was not going to waste the stuff. I wasn’t going to let it wilt in my refrigerator. So on Friday for dinner we had cauliflower, asparagus, and a salad.
My children came to the table with a marked lack of enthusiasm. “What’s for dinner?” younger son asked.

“This,” I said waving my hand over three bowls of vegetables.

“These are side dishes,” middle daughter said. “You’re not supposed to have them as the main course.”

“Well, tonight we are,” I said.

Oldest son headed to the refrigerator, trying to circumvent my meal. “Get over here,” I told him. “You’re eating healthy tonight.”

“I’m not hungry,” he said, going into the family room.

“Sit anyway.” While I went and tried to pry him off the couch, little sister sat down and ate all of the hard boiled eggs from the salad.

“No fair!” younger son yelled pointing at his sister. “She took the only real food!”

Middle sister picked the melted cheese off of the cauliflower and then pronounced that she only liked the cauliflower stems.

Younger son went into a litany of his sufferings. “No white bread or sugar cereal, and now this. Do you know what my friends at school said when I told them we only had basic cable? They said, ‘Well, what about the TV in your bedroom?’” He then glared at me because he doesn’t have a TV in his room.

At the end of dinner, we had lots of leftovers and the children probably all had cold cereal as soon as I left to go exercise.

But all of my hard work did pay off. The next day middle daughter came up to me and loving told me that I was very skinny. “You don’t need to buy more vegetables,”
she added.

Well, that’s probably the fastest diet in history.

No matter, this week I bought artichoke hearts, tomatoes, celery, avocados, lettuce, spinach, onions, potatoes, and a few other things that I’m not sure what actually are—but they look healthy. They still have dirt clinging to them and what not. We will eat veggies throughout the week, and if not, we’ll eat them all on Friday.

Book Update--the marketing department strikes again

Does it seem like my latest book is taking forever to come out, or is that just the effect of me wading through 1,200 revision comments? And by the way, that number is not an exaggeration. I showed fellow writer, Kristy, my first two drafts (435 comments and 407 comments) and she said, “Wow, I thought you made up those numbers on your blog for the comedic effect.”

I wish.

Anyway, now the title has gone through the revision process. Marketing wasn’t thrilled by Faking It. They changed it to My Secret Life as a Pop Star. I wasn’t thrilled by that title. I felt that calling the book that name would make everyone remember the title as: Yes I’m Trying to Cash in on the Hannah Montana Phenomena.

The Bowed-Tied One and I had several conversations about this in which he told me that I was wrong. Very wrong.

Luckily, the title has changed once again. I’ll pretend it was because of my input and not because someone in marketing decided a shorter title would fit on the cover better.

It is now . . . drum roll please . . . My Double Life

I like it.

The Bow Tied One also sent me some cover mock ups that are being test run with the sales people. I'll put them up as soon as Technology Bob converts them into files that my computer will recognize.

I suspected as much

The good folks over at the institute of We Have Too Much Time On Our Hands have done a study on word usage. Specifically which words we use the most in the English language. The number one word is no surprise--I've already used it four times in this blog--it's the ever popular, totally unassuming, cute as a button: THE.

But the second word may surprise those of you who aren't writers. As for we writers--yeah, we know it's number two on the list, we're always trying to pull this pesky fellow out of our prose. It's sort of a weed word. It pops up when you're not looking. It has already shown up seven times in this blog and will assuradly score much higher than that before I'm done typing. (*Ping* Now we're up to ten times.)

It's the ever present To Be verb with all of its tag-along little brothers: is, was, are, am, and were. I just went through my manuscript and plucked quite a few off the pages. But never fear all you Hamlet lovers (To be or not to be) there are still plenty to go around.

I also have to go through pulling out THATs and JUSTs. I sprinkle JUSTs through my stories like they were chocolate chips. This time I also noticed a lot of gazes. As in: His gaze ran over me. His gaze zeroed in on me. His gaze flickered to my eyes.

His gaze obvioulsy is very busy and athletic to boot (running, zeroing, flickering--it makes me tired just to think about it.) His gaze most likely does pushups in its spare time.

Oh well, it's on to the next draft.

How are you at blond jokes?

The bow-tied one and I are having a disagreement. This is usual for the revision process. We have many disagreements, generally because he does not see nor appreciate my artistic genius. (At least that is what I keep telling him.)

The latest thing is a blond joke problem. Here is the situation: (SPOILER ALERT--this next part contains some of the plot for my next book, which will be aptly named: Yes, I Stole This Idea From Hannah Montana. Okay, that is actually not the title--that is just what I'm afraid people will think when they see the book, but I digress. If you're one of those people who doesn't want to know about the plot before you read the book, don't read on.)

Alexia, the main character is secretly a double for famous rock star, Kari Kingsley. She is even lip-synching some concerts while Kari is busy with other things. Kari Kingsley is half Latina but has dyed her hair blond and also has been known to say some stupid things to the press. During the course of the story, the press thinks that Kari is cheating on her boyfriend, soap star Micheal Jung, because they see what appears to be Kari out with another rock star, Grant Delray.

Kari can't fess up that she has a double and so when a cameraman catches up with her and asks if she is dating both Micheal and Grant, she answers, "Not at the same time."

A couple pages later I say:

The entertainment shows gave Kari's botched dating explanation a lot of play time. the late night shows commented on it too. They said things like: "Well, who would have thought it--it looks like Kari Kingsley is a natural blond after all."

The bow-tied one wrote that he didn't get this joke. (By the way, he is blond, so that might have something to do with it.)

So my question is: Did you get the blond joke and if not, can you think of a better one to use?

Muchas gracias

One more reason to wish you were Barbie

Forget the fact that even at 50 Barbie looks great. Forget the dream house, convertible, and an endless supply of evening gowns (and apparently somewhere to wear them all). Even forget Ken, her always smiling, six-pack abs boyfriend.

This is why your really want to be the doll.


In case you can't read the numbers. This is Parade's issue of what people make. In between a math teacher who makes 66,000 and a public housing analyst who makes 65,000 Barbie makes 3.3 billion a year.

I noticed that Parade didn't report on any writer's salaries. That's probably for the best. No need to disillusion people about our glamorous lives . . .

Teen Writing Classes

For any of you teens out there who are interested in taking some writing classes—you’re in luck. Or at least you’re in luck if you live near Tempe Arizona, because that’s where I’ll be teaching.

The classes will be held at Changing Hands Bookstore
6428 S McClintock Dr
Tempe, AZ 85283
480-730-0205
McClintock at Guadalupe

TEEN EVENT: WORKSHOP: WRITING THE NOVEL 4-5:30pm
Do you have a great idea for a novel? How do you get started? In this five part workshop, Janette Rallison, author of more than 10 middle school and teen novels including My Fair Godmother and Just One Wish, discusses the building blocks of novel writing. Learn how to outline the plot, produce chapters, and build the story that turns your idea into a page turner.

When: Mondays and Wednesdays July 1, 6, 8, 13, 15 from 4-5:30pm. Cost: $75 for five sessions. Registration and pre-payment required at 480.730.0205.

the BYU writers conference--it rocked!

The writing conference at BYU was great this year. There’s just no other way to put this: Writers are cool people. They’re fun to hang around with, they’re fun to teach. And I’m not just saying that because several of my students gave me chocolate (thanks guys!) and tried to set up my single daughter. (Extra credit for Ally and Erin!)

I taught the romance class this year—perhaps because I kept trying to insert romances into all of my students’ novels last year. It was great. Here you can see we were totally getting into the romance theme.


And here again we’re trying to personify the perfect romantic heroine. All of us are murmuring Ben Barnes name at this point. He made an appearance in Stacey’s manuscript and just hung around the class after that.


Here I am, probably pondering my old nemesis: to be verbs.


My lovely assistant, Heather, saw from my blog that I’ve always wanted Mattel to make a Barbie doll out of one of my characters. So Heather created a Chrysanthemum Everstar doll for me. Is that cool, or what?


Now I'm back home, wearing my pajamas while I write and trying to convince the children not to trash the house, flood the backyard,or mindmeld with the Playstation. And no one cooks yummy meals for me. I miss you, writers conference!I miss you, Ben Barnes! Sigh.

We interupt this blog for the following announcement:

It's book signing time again. That means it's time for me to beg friends, strangers, and potential stalkers to come to the Barnes and Noble at Chandler Fashion Mall so that I look like I have a following. Tomorrow, June 20th, 3:00.

Lisa McMann will be signing there too and since she is a NYT best seller she will no doubt have hordes of fans screaming, "Lisa! Lisa! Sign my book!!" (Okay, probably not--book readers don't tend to be a wild group--but you know what I mean.) And I will be twiddling my thumbs and examining the table cloth.

I know how it goes. I've been through this before.

Here are a list of the mega selling authors I've done signings with:

Gary Paulson (Hatchet and a gazillion boy books)
Christopher Paul Curtis (two Newberys)
Barbara Park (Junie B Jones)
Stephenie Meyers (Twilight)
Brandon Mull (Fablehaven)
Shannon Hale (Newbery, Goose Girl Series)

I'd write more but frankly this is just a depressing list.

So come. Even if you have all my books. They make good gifts and Christmas is just six short months away. Besides, if you do I'll come to your Tupperware party. See, it's all good.

Now I just need to find and post a picture of Robert Pattinson so people will stop by this blog . .

And the winner is . . .

First off, sorry it's taken me so long to post this. I was teaching a writing workshop at BYU (the subject of my next blog) and fell into bed every night around midnight. But let me say I was blown away by all the responses I got to the Mind-Rain give-away. Should I be offended that I didn't get 56 comments the last time I gave away one of my books? Hmm. I will tell myself that it was due to the interesting nature of the question and not the fact that you all like Scott Westerfeld better than me.

I was surprised with the thought provoking and often poignant responses that so many of you gave. I was also surprised that most people took the five years, hands down.

Apparently the rest of you are not nearly as vain as I used to be. I still remember those awkward years when I had braces, glasses, hair that I had no idea how to style, and zero fashion sense. Not surprisingly, I also didn't have a lot of self confidence and social situations--like talking to guys--baffled me. (Really, if I dug out my eighth grade picture and posted it here, you would understand. But I'm not putting that out on the Internet. Nope. Sorry. You'll have to use your imagination.)

During high school I shook off the feathers of the ugly duckling years, and it was like a whole new world opened. Guys paid attention to me. Girls treated me with more respect.

True story: (which will sound like bragging but is really just illustrating a point)I went to visit my parents in California one year when I was about 21. They were renting a house and the (fairly young) landlord was constantly rude to them,complaining to them about this or that and not taking care of things that needed to be fixed.

So during my visit, the landlord rang the bell and I answered the door. He looked at me with this sort of stunned expression on his face and mumbled that he was there to take care of a few things. My parents introduced me to him and he was completely nice to everyone while he went about taking care of his landlord things.

After he left, my parents laughed about the change in him and told me I should visit more often, but it puzzled me. Clearly, the landlord changed his behaviour because there was a pretty girl around even though there was no actual benefit for him to do so. I never saw him again. But it did teach me that being pretty is like going through life with bonus points. I liked that. I never wanted to lose it. If really given the choice when I was young, I would have gone for beauty instead of the five years.

(I tried to find a picture of me when I was young--but where the 80's hair wasn't too prominent. Don't ask me what I was doing with my arms.)

That said, one day as I was getting ready for college classes, I realized it was a trick question. In between clothes shopping, clothes ironing, showering, shaving, blow-drying, hair-curling, and putting on make-up, I realized that I probably would spend more than five years of my life "beautifying" myself. I'd already made the choice.

Now in my older years, I make the opposite choice. I can't tell you how many days I walk around looking like a bag lady because I'm so intent on getting my writing done. These days, I take the time over beauty.

Still it's made for some interesting discussion here and also as I've visited my daughter this week. You can actually get a lot of mileage out of those five-year jokes.

Me walking into the room looking like something the cat dragged in: Hi!
Her: So, I see you've decided to take those five years back.

Gotta love her.

Anyway, it was hard to pick a winner because everyone was so profound. Really. I'm in awe of all of you. But I'm going to go with Jenilyn because I liked the way she picked the beauty but made it look like she was doing it for altruistic reasons. (making life easier for the nursing staff.) I think it was a reason New Pretty Town could totally support. So, Jenilyn, send me your snail mail at rallison 1 at cox dot net. And I'll send you you're book!

And the rest of you--I'm proud of you! Just don't waste your five years watching tv.

Mind-Rain book give away!

One of the fun things about being a writer is getting to rub shoulders with other authors. (Another is living vicariously through your characters while they do things like tell off people who remind you of your home owners’ association board, but I digress.)

I was happy when Ben Bella Books asked me to write an essay for a book they were doing on Scott Westerfeld’s Uglies series. I really enjoyed the books, so not only did I get to pontificate on the role of beauty in our society, but I also got the thrill of knowing that Scott Westerfeld himself read and edited my essay. (Yes, This is how much of a book geek I am. I was like, “Scott Westerfeld’s eyeballs read the words I wrote!” I think this means I am allowed to hang out socially with him now, you know, assuming I ever meet him in real life.)

So the book is officially out now. It’s called Mind-Rain and is available at your local Borders.

Here is a blurb from my essay about the role of beauty in our society:

When I was a teenager I read a book of difficult questions. One of them was: Would you choose to be beautiful if it meant you’d lose five years from your life span?

Would you?

The question bothered me because I knew the answer should be easy—who in their right mind would trade part of their life—1,825 days—just to look good? Looking good doesn’t have anything to do with the quality of your life.

But I kept finding myself wanting to refine the question. Exactly how ugly would I have to be to have that extra five years? And were we talking about a life span of seventy years? Eighty years? Perhaps only forty? The question just wouldn’t go away. The answer hovered around, revealing all sorts of uncomfortable things about myself and my society--because let’s face it we do judge people based on looks.

Oh, as a society we like to pretend that we aren’t really all that vain, that we don’t obsess about our appearances, and that we’re capable of seeing past all the superficial stuff. As Martin Luther King Jr. would say, if you know, he happened to live in a Scott Westerfeld novel: People should not be judged by the prettiness of their skin, but by the content of their character.

We throw around phrases to emphasize the point. Beauty is only skin deep. Beauty is as beauty does. It’s what inside that really matters. You can’t judge a book by its cover.

Any high school freshman will tell you differently. As will your local plastic surgeon, or the person in charge of hiring models for advertisements.

If you want to sell something, you show a beautiful person holding, eating, wearing, or driving it. There is a reason we call beautiful people attractive. We are attracted to them just because of their looks. As a society we want to be them so badly that we will buy the soda we see them drinking, the clothes we see them wearing, and the cars we see them driving.

Okay for those of you who are still with me, to be the winner of a free copy of Mind Rain, answer the question: Would you trade five years of your life to be beautiful? Why or why not?

Beauty tips for the writer

I have stumbled upon a sure-fire way for writers to make themselves feel beautiful.(This probably only works for women writers, but hey, the guys don't have to worry about being beautiful anyway.)

Step one: have revisions due on a certain date.

Step two: ascertain that you will not make this date unless you give up several things in your life like showering or grooming.

Step three: repeat step two for several days.

Step four: by the time you finish your revisions you will resemble the troll-like figure on the front cover of Brandon Mull's first Fablehaven book.

Step five: now that your revisions are done, shower, dress in something besides the lifeless sweats you've been wearing, and do your hair and makeup. You will be astounded by how good you look. In fact, you will be downright stunning in comparison to how you've looked for the last few days.

It works every time.

In which I terrorize the office staff of my son’s school

I blame it on revisions. When you’re working nonstop for a month on rewriting your novel for the third time, you get testy. I’d told the bow-tied one that I’d have the manuscript to him today, which means that in the last week I showered approximately twice.

So I wasn’t happy yesterday when son number 1, code name Gaston, called and told me he forgot his tennis shoes. He asked if I could bring them so he could participate in football practice. I nearly told him, “Forget it. Just skip practice and come home with the rest of the carpool.”

I didn’t want to take forty minutes out of my work day (twenty minutes there, twenty minutes back) to bring them to him. The deadline was looming and I still had quite a few of the bow-tied ones 407 comments to go through. Instead, I gave myself a pep talk about being a good mother (see last blog) and told him I’d try to get them to him. First I called around to the other carpool mothers in the neighborhood to see if they could bring up Gaston’s shoes when they picked up the other kids. Four phone calls later I found out that carpool turn fell to one of the fathers, who picked up the kids on his way home from work. So that wouldn’t work.

I got in the car, unshowered and covered in cat hair. (One of the cats feels it’s her duty to lie on my chest while I write.)I brought the shoes to the school’s front desk, explained the situation, and asked if they could give them to Gaston.

Imagine my surprise when Gaston came home with the carpool kids instead of staying for football practice. “What the heck are you doing home after I spent forty minutes to bring you your shoes!” I said lovingly. Because that is the type of mother I am. (see last blog)

“You didn’t bring me my shoes,” Gaston said.

“I gave them to the front office and they said they’d give them to you,” I said.

“They didn’t,” he said.

I called the school and left a message for the front desk. Which is probably something I shouldn’t do—leave messages when I’m angry. When you do that, you have to worry that your message is being endlessly replayed while people mimic you and do gargoyle impersonations. Not that I’m saying the office staff did this. But just, you know.

Anyway, the secretary called me this morning and apologized. She said she had called Gaston’s teacher and told him to send Gaston up to get his shoes. Apparently the teacher hadn’t passed along the message.

“Didn’t you notice that he never picked up his shoes?” I asked. Gaston doesn’t have small feet. He wears a size twelve.

“Yes,” she said. “So we sent his shoes to football practice with one of the other mothers.”

Which would have been nice if Gaston had gone to football practice, but he hadn’t because he had no shoes.

I pointed that out to the secretary, and then we hung up. That was the phone call.

Today when my husband came home he said, “I think the office staff is afraid of you now.”

“Why do you say that?” I asked. I had sent off my manuscript, showered, cleaned the downstairs, went to the grocery store to pick up frosting, baked a cake, and taken seven junior high kids to the movies for a party. I was back to loving mother mode. (See last blog.)

“The school didn’t know what happened to Gaston’s shoes after they were sent to football practice,” my husband said, “so they went out and bought him new ones.”

Oh.

Now I feel terrible. I suppose the office staff thought after I called to complain because I had to drive forty minutes to deliver the shoes and they didn’t give them to him, there was no way they were calling me to break the news that Gaston once again didn’t have shoes for football practice, and they didn’t know what had happened to them.

“The whole school knows about it,” Gaston told me with irritation. “The football coach came up to me and asked me what the shoe problem was.”

Turns out one of the football carpool kids had taken them home last night and he’d forgotten to bring them back to school today.

We have them back now, along with new shoes that the office lady bought. I really do feel bad about it. I told Gaston to ask the secretary how much they cost so I can repay her.

On the bright side, probably no one at that school will ask me to volunteer for the PTO.

My real job

During Project Book Babe one of the questions that was asked of the panel was: When did you know writing had become your career? Shannon Hale had a great answer. She said, "It isn't my career. Being a mom is my career."

I've always felt the same way. I'm a mom first. I hardly did any promotion or travel before my kids went to school all day. If truth be told, I didn't do a lot of writing before my kids went to school. It was mostly done during nap times, favorite kid TV shows, or sitting beside soccer fields pretending that I cared which way the ball went.

Sometimes I forget this though. I imagine we all do. We have a goal to get xyz done and our kids seem to be the thing standing in the way of getting xyz done, so they seem like a job-hinderence instead of our real job.

But today I'm remembering. Being a mom is my real job. I will make cupcakes for my daughters class, and take another daughter shopping for the shorts she needs, and make dinner.

I can't complain. All in all it's a great career.

Writing Class

Hey, for any of you around the Casa Grande area, I'm going to do a writing class on May 30th. Here's the vital info:

Writing a Young Adult Novel?
Get the Foundation Right: Point of View, Plot, and Characterization With Janette Rallison, Author of Books for Young Adults

Saturday, May 30, 2009
10:00 AM to 2:30 PM

Holiday Inn - Canyon Room
777 N Pinal Avenue
Casa Grande, Arizona 85222

Writing a young adult novel? Learn how to use the most important building blocks of fiction: point of view, plotting, and characterization. Did you know that 90% of the manuscripts in publishers' slush piles have point of view problems and as a result, are immediately rejected? Don't let your novel be one of them. Learn about point of view and how to use it effectively. Also, find out how to save time and effort in the revising stages by setting up your plot and characters right the first time around.

Janette Rallison is the award winning author of 15 novels and has sold over 800,000 books, including Fame, Glory, and Other Things on My To Do List IRA Young Adults' Choices List 2007 and It's a Mall World After AllIRA Young Adults' Choices List 2008.

Most of her books are romanticcomedies because there is enough angst in real life, but there Is a drastic shortage on both humor and romance. She lives in Chandler, Arizona with her husband, five kids, and enough cats to classify her as eccentric. Some of her other titles include My Fair Godmother, Just One Wish, and How to Take the Ex Out of Ex-Boyfriend.

Registration is limited.
For more information, contact Michelle Parker-Rock at
RegionalAdvisor at scbwi-az.org

book giveaways

I’ve meant to do a blog give away of a couple of my friends’ latest books for awhile. What can I say, when I’m doing revisions a lot of things fall through the cracks. This is mostly because I’m sitting by my laptop rocking back and forth, mumbling things about certain editorial comments, but I digress.



First up is Kersten Campbell’s book, Confessions of a Completely Insane Mother. I immediately liked this book because I am often a completely insane mother. If you’ve ever taken a group of boy scouts to the police office for a tour, you can relate. It’s a book full of Erma Bombeck-like vignettes, you know, supposing Erma Bombeck had five kids that she had to get ready for church in ten minutes because she overslept. (I have done this. I can relate. One day I’ll have to tell you about my two-year-old son who refused to wear pants to church. Ahh, happy memories. Well, not really.)

The odd coincidence about this writer is that although I’ve never met her in person, she is now living in my old hometown of Pullman, Washington and is married to my friend’s little brother. It’s weird to think of him as a grown man since he was about six when I left home.

I suddenly feel old.





The second book is for all of you regency romance lovers: Donna Hatch’s The Stranger She Married. It has a guy in a mask. That’s always cool. Alicia, our heroine is in dire straits (or maybe straights, I can never keep all of those dire places, um, straight) and vows to marry the first wealthy man she meets. Enter Cole Amesbury, a dashing lord. Personally, I think there are not enough dashing lords around when you need them, so I was glad this book was doing its part to help the shortage. Plus I liked it because I love romance, but not bodice rippers. So potential readers, rest assured you will not be impaled by flying bodice parts if you read this book.

For this give away tell me one insane mother moment, or one romantic one (or a romantic one you’d like to have some day) and I’ll enter you in the giveaway.