Saturday, June 23, 2012

More proof that authors are crazy

Authors are clearly crazy. Think about it. We make up a bunch of people and then write long drawn out conversations between them. Sometimes we have them kill each other and we cry over their demise. Craziness, pure and simple.

Authors also do things like spend months working on a project in the hope that some day, someone will want to pay them for it. Would truck drivers do this? Would plumbers? I think not.

But in case you needed more proof, take the case of Ray Dolin, who was working on a book called Kindness in America. He faked a drive by shooting in order to promote the book. Um, yeah, I'm willing to do a lot of things to promote my books, but shooting myself is not one of them. I have--in the spirit of promotion--offered to shoot my editor. I mean, I bet that would make people remember the book. But alas, thus far none of my editors has been willing to take one for the team, so to speak.

The sad thing about all of this is that even though Ray Dolin's hoax was discovered, his book has gotten an awful lot of publicity over the event. And what works for one author, other authors are sure to implement. I'm afraid this will lead to a rash of author shootings. ALA may turn into the equivalent of the old west. (Make sure you keep your distance from James Dashner and Robison Wells for a while. Both of them frequently have that crazed look in their eyes . . .)

Although I'm determined to stay out of the line of fire, I'm trying to think of ways to take my promotion to the next level. My next book is a time travel dystopia. So I've decided to time travel to promote the book. Anyone who knows how to get hold of Dr. Who's phone booth, let me know.

14 comments:

L. G. Keltner said...

I have a TARDIS coin bank, but I don't think it actually works. It does light up and have all the appropriate sound effects.

As a fellow author (though not published, but hope to be soon)I agree we're a crazy bunch. I, however, won't take a bullet to promote my book. I know my luck. The shot would probably do more damage than intended.

En algĂșn lugar said...

Hi from Spain. Yeah a plumber or an electrician are always well paid but writers, or teachers..people from humanities suffer in this unffair society iin which being a science student is the best way to survive in the future-

A. Johnson said...

Well that made me laugh. A fake shooting? Seriously? No, authors should never go down that road. I believe let the talent speak for itself, all of these shock value stuff would probably get stale.

With the craziness, I think it's all about worrying about the believability of our stories. As an author (in training) the factor I bother myself about is: Can a reader really get into my story?
(Writing scifi shories for my blog BTW http://ajdarkhorse.blogspot.com)

But sadly like you just mentioned, there are those who just take this way too far.

As for your promotion you could try youtube I guess.

Whitney said...

If you do get a hold of the TARDIS, let me know. I wouldn't mind a trip or five.

Janette Rallison said...

L.G., so true--but just think of the research details you could pick up in the emergency room. It would make future action scenes more realistic.

En algun lugar, (I'm proud of myself for remembering enough of my high school Spanish to know that means.)It's true that the sciences pay better, but I enjoy writing too much to make any career switches at this point.

A. Johnson, sadly the shooting was real--the fake part was that he claimed it was a drive by shooting when he had actually shot himself. Hmmm, I wonder if his insurance company will still pick up the tab. (Silly me--most writers don't have insurance. Moot point.)

Whitney, we can be time travel buddies. I'd love to sit and chat with Jane Austen for awhile.

Alyssa Jensen said...

I'm sure his phone number is somewhere...i've seen it before! Good luck becoming his companion, though!

Debbie said...

I love this post. It's so true though, all the time we spend and there's no promise of the fruits of our labour.

For me, it's the fact I set goals and achieved them or at least try).

People climb mountains because they are there. I write because I have to be creative. I have my bowl of fruit and I'll appreciate it.

Mrs. Far-Away said...

ah, the things people do for publicity.

coincidentally, i was JUST thinking about how i could get my blog more readers, ie, 'published'.

unfortunately, am a bit too cowardly to shoot myself. =/

I've GOT to think of something else =/

P.S. you're HILARIOUS! :D

Janette Rallison said...

Alyssa, when you find it, let me know.

Debbie, that's a good way to think of it. Climb mountains, do puzzles, or write. I'd rather have a manuscript to show for my time.

Mrs. Far Away, I'm with you--I'm willing to consume large amounts of chocolate to publicize my blog, but so far it hasn't seemed to do a lot of good. I keep trying though.

Danielle said...

Wow. I'm working on a book now, not quite sure I would go to those lengths to get published. But you never know. Maybe a hop on a TV show to gain popularity quickly, like the 50 Shades of Grey series. Haven't read them, but I sold them and they went quick! TV show is the "safe" way to go I think.

Cathy said...

Funny post! Sure writers are insane, but so are readers! We read fictional stories about fake characters and also cry when they die!

Tanya Parker Mills said...

Great post. As for time travel suggestions, your name is in the book I'm currently writing as one of my characters (since you won that bid) and it's not likely to be published for a couple of years. Does that count as a way to send you into the future?

Janette Rallison said...

Danielle, TV is awesome . . . now I just have to wait for the producers to call me, right?

Cathy, yes, thank goodness readers are equally as crazy as writers or we would just have to entertain ourselves.

Tanya, I totally think that counts.

LisaandDan Bonser said...

I remember someone promoting their book by making this website and it being posts from someone taking pictures in Australia and running from the government to avoid detection. The pictures went on for months and alot of my friends followed it, telling me how neat it was, wondering if it was real....

After 3 months or so of following it, it finally said, "Buy the book to find the answer." We were all really bummed out that it wasn't something conspiratorial.

Another sad one about an author being crazy, was a guy that held a bunny captive. At first it was, "Give me $10,000 on paypal or I cook the bunny." He had pictures of a cute bunny in pots and surrounded by cutlery...obviously different rabbits though. Eventually he just changed the thing to, "Buy my joke book on Amazon."