blog hop give-away

Inspired Kathy emailed me and asked if I wanted to be part of a blog hop. I said, "Sure," because a blog hop sounded like a sock hop and I thought it might involve dancing. Besides, who am I to argue with someone who's inspired?

It turns out there is no dancing in a blog hop, but if you feel inspired to dance, I won't stop you.

I realized upon reading Kathy's last email that this give-away is supposed to involve a paranormal romance. I just happen to have written a paranormal romance, but my editor is reading it right now, so it's not actually available in book form.

Therefore, I'm giving away a signed copy of My Fair Godmother. After all, it does reference Edward Cullen, and if you squint, fairies sort of look like vampires, all sparkly and whatnot.

So leaving a comment will get you one chance, and promising to put my books face out on the shelf the next time you are in a bookstore will give you two. (Yeah, that's the kind of followers I have, baby. Rebels to the core.)

Erasing Time--the cover is finally final.

Notice any differences? I didn't. (Which is why I'm lousy at all of those picture games where you're supposed to find six differences in what appear to be two identical pictures.) Anyway, I'm very happy with it. It's an awesome cover.

The book is coming out September 2012, and I'm writing the sequel right now. (Must figure out a way to put the cover on my sidebar and website . . .)

Which Cover Do You Like Best?

I put Playing the Field, one of my earlier books, up as an ebook last month. I needed a new cover and couldn't decide whether to use one that would appeal to boys--because the main character is guy, or one that would appeal to girls--because most of my readers are girls. And, after all, a lot of girls read books with guys as main characters.

Then fellow writer, Robin Brande, suggested I do two covers and see which sells best. Which was a great suggestion and would have been a very interesting cover experiment. The only problem is that Amazon (and I suppose other sites as well) don't let you put up two different covers for the same book.

So, I'm going to ask you all which you like best. Does the boy cover appeal to you even though it's clearly a boy cover, (The guy does have a sort of hot wrist, after all)or would you pass that one by and only buy the girl cover?

And, in case you really do feel like buying a good middle grade comedy, I've just lowered the price to .99 on Amazon and on Smashwords (which lowers it on B&N, right?)so you can also vote by buying one copy or the other.

Here's the link to the girl cover:
http://www.smashwords.com/books/view/108937

Here's the link to the guy cover:
http://www.amazon.com/Playing-The-Field-ebook/dp/B006HWV3KG/ref=sr_1_2?s=digital-text&ie=UTF8&qid=1326779906&sr=1-2

Creepiest kids' toys

Okay, on first glance, cute pink-haired Lalaloopsy doesn't seem creepy--that is unless you've read the book Coraline or seen the movie. Because the evil-scary-bad people have those exact same button eyes. Creepiest thing ever! (Shudders just thinking about it.) Don't put this doll on your bed. She may kill you sometime during the night. That's why she's smiling.

Some things shouldn't be combined. Dora and Pillow Pets are two of those things.

Dora looks like she has become some sort of mutant furry animal akin to that freaky dog in the original Body Snatchers movie. (But at least he doesn't have button eyes.)


I've always loved Barbie. Really. I have more Barbies than is probably healthy for a grown woman to own. (But that's a different blog.) So I was understandably disturbed to see decapitated Barbie heads in the toy aisle. My first thought was, "Well, it looks like Mattel has finally done a Marie Antoinette doll." Then I realized that no, Barbie now has a line where the heads are switchable. Remember how people used to worry that Barbie sent the wrong body image message to young girls? I'm glad they've straightened out that issue.


I'm a huge Star Wars fan. At one point I wanted to marry Luke Skywalker. (On some days I still do.) I hate to criticize anything Star Wars, but despite this deep seated love, I must point out that Yoda makes a really creepy child's toy.

Um, am I only the one who thinks that Yoda looks like he has emerged from a horror film and is trying to strangle this hapless child?


The catalog copy says Cuddle with you, I will! Judging from this picture, Yoda is also saying, "Hide under your bed, I will. Come out at night while you're sleeping, I will. Try to suck your brains out, I will."

No thanks, I'll pass on that Star Wars memorabilia.

If you haven't seen the movie Rango, this next picture is Ms. Beans, the love interest of Johnny Depp--er, I mean Rango. Johny Depp just does the voice for Rango. Anyway, she's supposed to be a Desert Iguana.

Personally, I think she would frighten most children and many adults. I mean, really, she is clearly just an alien wearing a wig.


So parents, if you are going to go to the trouble to buy your children a gift, don't buy them one that they will later need therapy for. Hey, I know what would be really great. How about a book? I know of many good ones, including this one:

It's available at all your fine bookstores (including the Portland airport--how awesome is that?) Here are links for your convenience. (Because I'm thoughtful that way.)

http://www.changinghands.com/book/9780312614140

http://www.barnesandnoble.com/s/cj-hill-slayers?keyword=cj+hill+slayers&store=allproducts

Or if you're looking for a kindle bargain try this book at 2.51

http://www.amazon.com/My-Fair-Godmother-ebook/dp/B00413PHVO/ref=sr_1_1?s=digital-text&ie=UTF8&qid=1326120589&sr=1-1

Two great writing conferences

Do you dream of the glamorous life of an author? Would you like to spend long hours huddled, unshowered, in front of your computer? Then, my friend, I've got good news. Two awesome conferences are just around the corner.

9am-3pm SATURDAY, JANUARY 28
Phoenix Public Library and Changing Hands Bookstore present
YOUNG ADULT WRITING CONFERENCE

Eleven authors of young adult fiction, including several New York Times bestsellers, share strategies, tips, and tricks for writing engaging work for tween and teen readers. You can choose three of four informative sessions to fill your three-session schedule, including "Unforgettable Characters," "Heroes and Villains," "Realistic Dialogue," and "Edgy Fiction." Please select your three sessions before calling to register by viewing class descriptions below.

Presenters and panelists include authors Adam Rex, Bree Despain, James Owen, Anna Carey, Kiersten White, Aprilynne Pike, Amy Fellner Dominy, C J Hill (aka Janette Rallison), Robin Brande, Cecil Castellucci, and Tom Leveen.

WRITING CLASSES, YOUNG ADULT WRITING PANEL AND BOX LUNCH
Location: Burton Barr Central Library, 1221 N Central Ave, Phoenix 85004
Central at McDowell METRO Light Rail Station

EARLY REGISTRATION SPECIAL: $75 through Jan 19 | $85 Jan 20-28

Register now! 480.730.0205
More info at: http://www.changinghands.com/event/ww-ya-jan12

If you're agent ready, you won't want to miss the ANWA Writers Conference on Feb 23-25th

Here's just some of the amazing faculty who will be there:

Jane Dystel, President of Dystel & Goderich Literary Management
Anita Mumm reads queries and sample pages and presents workshops for writers across the country on behalf of Nelson Literary Agency.
Lisa Mangum, Assistant Editor at Deseret Book/Shadow Mountain.
Linda Prince Mulleneaux is Managing Editor at Walnut Springs Press.
And yours truly.

Plus, they're having pitch sessions--which means you can pitch your novel to one of these folks and get instant feedback. Trust me, that's worth every penny.

http://anwawritersconference.com/
More info is at:

New Year's Writing Resolutions

It's that time when we all start thinking about New Year's resolutions. I've come up with ten writing goals. I might be able to keep nine of them.

1) Learn how to spell hors d'oeuvres so I don't have to google it every single time.

2) Use the word appetizers more instead of hors d'oeuvres.

3) Don't yell things at the computer such as, "Find that file or I'll show you what you can do with your gigabytes!" Or any other thing that would make the neighbors question my sanity.

4) Stop checking Amazon's rankings for my novels. Do I really want to know that353,194 books are selling better than mine today? No, I don't.

5) Stop noticing Amazon's rankings for other books. Do I really want to know that Snookie's book is number 11 in biographies? Again, no, I don't.

6) Learn what all those acronyms mean so I can understand my fan emails.

7) Don't send critiques to authors who have asked me for blurbs. (Yes, I have done this, and yes, I do feel bad about it. But in my defense, I was trying to help the authors improve their books.)

8) Don't see how many sunflower seeds the hamster can fit in its mouth while I'm supposed to be writing.

9) Don't see how many Almond Joys I can fit in my mouth while I'm supposed to be writing.

10) Finish my middle-grade fantasy, sell my paranormal romance, write sequels to Slayers, Erasing Time, and the next Fairy Godmother book--and do all the revisions said books require.

Sigh. Can you guess which goal I'll have the most trouble with?

Worst Christmas Gifts You Can Give

I wish I could say that I had to look long and hard to find these horrible gifts, but no. I'm apparently on the catalog list for crazy people, and I get dozens of Gifts-for-the-Bizarre magazines. Without further ado (because there is enough doo-doo in this list) here are some gifts that will win you no brownie points with your friends and relatives.

What could be more tacky than dog poop on your lawn?
A sign with a dog pooping that you put in your lawn. I'm sure this is a lovely sight to see each morning. I bet the Home Owners Association will have nothing to say about it.

And speaking of poop (because what says the holidays better than poop?) here's a charming gift for that special someone in the office.
It poops paperclips, combining all that is sophomoric and unprofessional in one convenient desk item.

Looking for nostalgia? How about a gift that will remind you of those childhood days where you trapped unsuspecting bugs in an old jar and most likely left them to die on your dresser. Yep, just let these little babies blink on and off in their pathetic attempts to gain freedom. Plus, your loved ones will know that you spent actual money on this gift--which is worth approximately an old jar and some bugs.


This Granny sling shot would be a great gift for, um, uh, Grandpa, after Grandma runs off with Enrique, the poolboy.


How about a matching set of hats that look like sharks are eating your head? Junior will need therapy after this gift. For many reasons.

A lot of the items we sell here in America have the made in China label stamped on them. I often wonder what the factory workers in China think of the items they assemble.

"What are we working on today, Shang?"

Shang picks up a glowing solar frog and shrugs. "Maybe it is to warn against nuclear fall-out."


And lastly, what is a better way to impress upon friends and loved ones that you are totally not a psychopathic serial killer--than to hang a human brain ornament on your Christmas tree? Don't ask what happened to Dinky, Santa's missing elf.


If you want a good gift instead--try a book. In fact try one of mine. They're all good. And, as a special Christmas offer, my ebook Blue Eyes and Other Teenage Hazards will be available on Amazon for .99. This price will only last for a couple of weeks. (Or longer if I forget to change it back.)

http://www.amazon.com/Blue-Other-Teenage-Hazards-ebook/dp/B006HN8MSG/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1324364968&sr=8-1


Merry Christmas everyone!