Tuesday, March 10, 2009

Round two of revisions for Faking It

I got my second revision letter and manuscript comments from the bow-tied one. I will share some of it with you and interpret it for you along the way. In his email to me, he said, “You’re doing great! We love it!”

Ohhoho. I know better than to believe those words. He is not taking me in with those pretty exclamation points. He always says those sorts of things right before he butchers my manuscript and sends me back the bleeding entrails.

I opened the revision letter and braced myself. I read a few lines and then he said, “We can discuss deadlines after you’ve had a chance to sit with all of this.”

Ahh, the truth first peeks out with its beady little eyes. The bow-tied one knows full well that when I read what follows I will be so torked out of shape I will not speak to him for a solid week. It is going to be bad my friends, very bad.

He then says, “You will be relieved to see that there are fewer comments on this pass (only 407 this time, down from 435), so clearly you are moving in the right direction!"

AHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!

I would make some other sort of statement about his 407 comments, but I haven’t read them yet. I can’t. I’ve made a bargain with myself. I will only read his revisions notes until I get so upset that I want to scream, then I will walk away from the computer and do something else for the rest of the day. It is the only way I can get through this.

It will take me at least another day to finish his revision letter before I even open the manuscript.

I have finally figured out why he wears a bow-tie instead of a regular one. Bow-ties are harder to grab a hold of when you want to strangle people.

16 comments:

Chantele said...

Good luck! You will get through it!;) Hugs!:)

Shari said...

Enjoy the rest of your day, hopefully doing nothing, or at least doing whatever you want.

You will rise above the comments and send them ricocheting off his bow tie.

And just think how good your manuscript will be when you are done.

Ashley Harward said...

Hang in there Rallison! If I were you, I'd go buy every bow tie I could find and then take your frustration out on them with a pair of scissors.

Kinda morbid, I know - but it might help.

:)

Windsong said...

*hugs*

There are some distinct advantages to being unpublished. 0:)

I think the important question is whether the bow tie is the real thing, thus conducive to strangulation, or one of those fake jobs with velcro.

*clears throat*

I'm feeling your pain. I'm not violently inclined. Promise. ;)

Nancy Campbell Allen said...

Oh, bless you! I feel your pain. Good luck, and might I suggest you find a nice chunk of chocolate.

joelle said...

Janette! You're scaring me. My first edits for my first book ever are coming tomorrow! I was excited. Now I'm afraid to go near the computer!

Janette Rallison said...

Be afraid. Be very afraid.

Valerie Ipson said...

Can I have your problems!?

Seriously, good luck wading through it all!

Melinda said...

I'm thinkin lots and lots of chocolate covered raisins.

Piglet de' Erin said...

OH, I dream of that happening to me! But then again, I could see how frustrating that could be. It will be fabulous when you're done.

Kimberly said...

I feel cruel for giggling, but also feel the urge to mail you chocolate so I'm sure it all balances out.

Laini Taylor said...

tee hee hee. Janette! I know bow tie's lonnnnnnng editorial letters well, and they always do START so sweetly! In my case, they are always for the best, but there is of course a period of time in which I allow myself to respond to the comments (in a top secret document that will be destroyed later) with whatever words first pop to mind. Ahem. But really, in the long run, I'm so glad for those long letters, and for someone who reads my books so deeply. Yay, bow-tie!

P.S. I may be seeing you -- I hope -- at Project Book Babe!

Kristi Stevens said...

I can't imagine how painful a revision letter must be. Personally, I'd sure love one right now. At least you know where to focus your attention. I feel like I'm shooting in the dark.

Danyelle Ferguson said...

You can do it, girl! And having met Mr. Bow Tie, I totally think you can take him, little tie and all. :) Good luck revising. Keep some yummy peanut m&m's or something nearby.

shannon hale said...

I have it on good authority that he also wears short-shorts.

Julie Wright said...

LOL! At least he isn't rewriting scenes for you so it COULD be worse. ;)